From Ekkoes from Kentucky (Boston: Lee and Shepard, 1868).

Mr. Nasby details his Adventures in a strong Democratic County in Southern Ohio.  – The Suffrage Question in that Part of the Democratic Heritage.

Post Offis, Confedrit x Roads

(Wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky)

September 20, 1867.

Last week I wuz invited to go into Ohio to assist my brethren uv that State. The Massedonian cry reached me, “Come and help us !” and ez the cry wuz coupled with the asshoorance that I shood be pervided for, I heeded it. Couple Massedonian cries with whiskey, and I can’t resist em. I never try. I knowd there wuzn’t much difference atween the Dimocrisy uv Ohio and Kentucky, but I wuz onprepared for the strikin resemblance I found. Twins is not more similar. My 1st appintment wuz in a purely Dimekratic County. It wuz a settlement after my own heart, and the minit my practist eye restid onto it, my sole leaped for joy. It wuz a town wich hed bin some day the seat uv bizniss, but a ralerode runnin some nine miles to one side uv it hed cut off its trade, and the inhabitants hevin nothin to do, the better part uv em went with the trade. Nacher abhors a vacuum, and there rushed in sich as found it diffikult to live elsewhere. The whole population, hevin much leisure, fell to pitchin coppers, wich, to make the game excitin, they pitched for drinks. Pitchin for drinks soon rendered em incapable uv more violent exercise; and in a year from the time the trade left em, it wus the strongest and most intense Democratic town in the State. Ez they must eat suthin, and ez the groseries coodent run perpetooally without money, they hed occasional spasms uv labor. Then wood their feelins be lasseratid. Then wood they look over to the Kentucky shore, and see thousands uv jest sich men ez theirselves a spendin their lives in one unendin round uv copper-pitchin, hoss-racin, and poker-playin, the nigger meanwhile a sweatin to furnish the means, and they wood break out into murmurin at the crooel fate wich cast their lot where every man wuz forst to sweat for hisself, and the cuss of labor coodent be filled by proxy.

Their proximity to Kentucky tantalized em. They wood hev all gone there cood they hev raised enuff to buy a nigger apeece, but they coodent. There wuz a most deliteful look uv serene repose about the place wich charmed me. Nothin stood uprite. The sign-post uv the tavern hed bin leaned agin so much that it hed contracted the same habit ; the hosses, from a too rigid economy in the matter uv oats, wuz leanin agin the side uv the barns ; the shutters on the groseries hung cornerin across the winders, in consekence uv the lower hinges bein broke ; the clapboards on the houses all hangin by a single nail at one end, presented any but a reglar appearance ; and the men were all either sittin on store boxes, or leanin agin watever possessed suffishent strength to keep em up.

I wuz enthoosiastically reseeved. The town wuz excited on two questions, 1. Taxation. 2. Nigger Equality. The Cheerman uv the deputashun wuz the most cheerin style uv Demokrat I hed seen for years. His independent hair hed pushed its way thro the top uv his hat and bristled in all directions, biddin defiance to the world; his toes protroodin from his shoes, and his trowsers hangin lop-sided by one suspender, indicated a sovereign contempt for appearances. He begged me, with tears streemin down his eyes, to rouse the people agin the dangers wich threatem em. “Think,” sed he, “uv the hundreds uv thousands uv millions, wich we, the people, are forced to pay in taxes to the General Government, and rouse em to the necessity uv ackshen!”

“I will,” sed I, “I will. State to me the amount uv taxes paid the tyranikle government in this Arcajen spot, that I may hev the data from wich to speek.”

“Taxes!” returned this patriot, with an amazed look onto his countenance, “taxes! We don’t pay any taxes here. The Assessor came here two years ago, and findin nothin to assess, hezn’t considered it worth while to come since. But, good Lord, our hearts bleeds for these unfortinit victims uv Ablishn policy wich hev suthin, and is forced to pay onto it! The people is bein ground into dust by taxashen.” And the old man wept bitter tears at the miseries uv the sitooashen uv the people. What techin benevolence!

On the question uv nigger ekality, I found em at a most deliteful heat. They hed seen the terrors uv it, and know’d whereof they spoke. Niggers hed come from Kentucky across the river to em, and instid uv acceptin their normal speer, and yieldin quietly to the irresistible decrees uv Heven, wich made em the inferiors uv the white, they hed, the moment they accumulatid suthin to live on, assoomed the airs uv ekality. They refoosed to keep their places. The Cheerman remarkt, ez showin the stubborn cussedness uv the race, that one uv em lived some months next to him. He (the Cheerman) borrored pork on sevral occashens uv him, twict a bakin uv flour, and, on one occashen, nine dollars uv the misrable rags wich we are forst, by a tyranikle Government, to accept ez money. That nigger hed the soopreme impudence to insist on bein pade! and even talked uv sooin for it. But, on consultin a lawyer, he didn’t, owin to the oncertainty ez to who wood hev to pay the costs. Another instance. “A nigger, wich wuz neerly white, settled in the visinity. He hed not only a daughter, but a farm. My son sores. Labor he despises, as a occupashen only fit for serfs. He proposed to woo this nigger’s daughter. It wuz a struggle with me. My son marry in a female wich hed the accursed blood uv Ham in her vanes ! But Jimuel, my son, sir, threw dirt in my eyes. About sixty akers uv dirt. I thot uv the pleasant time I cood hev a livin on that farm – uv the days devoid uv labor, and the evenins filled with ease, and after a severe ethnologikle struggle with my feelins, I consented. I wantid to take keer uv that nigger. Pityin him ez an inferior bein, loaded, in his abnormal condishen, with responsibilities wich he cood not be expected to discharge, I would hev taken charge uv his affares. I wood – my son Jimuel and I – hev managed his farm, and his stock, and sich. Alas! Jimuel menshuned the matter to the Ethiopian, sir, and with wat result? He was ignominiously kickt out uv the house, sir. He wuz d–d, sir, for a drunken broot, by a nigger, wich threatened, if he ever showed his pimpled – pimpled wuz the word – face about there agin, he d break every bone in his body. Sir, this is becomin unsupportable. They must be dragged down to our level. My proud Caucashen blood revolts. There must be a inferior race, and it’s us or the nigger. The Injen is out uv the question, ez there ain’t any of them here to be inferior. I wouldn’t mind the Injen, but there ain’t none. It’s the nigger or nothin. Give him the ballot, sir, and what’ll distinguish us? Speek with a angel’s tongue onto this theme, I beg.”

The meetin wuz a glorious one, and my speech one uv my most movin efforts. My perorashen moved me to tears. It wuz on nigger suffrage. Depictin its untold horrors, I begged em to organize – to rally wunst more agin this common enemy. “There is,” sed I, “seven thousand nigger males in the State uv Ohio. Shel we peril the liberties uv the State by permittin them to approach the ark uv our safety – the ballot-box? Shel we raise em to the pint uv bein our ekals? Shel we marry em and give em in marriage? Shel we contaminate the pure streem uv Anglo-Saxon blood by muddlin it with the turbid streem uv –”

At that pint I stopt. My eyeballs wuz seared. Joe Bigler, wich I sposed wuz a hundred miles away in Kentucky, wuz up in the aujence.

“Agreein,” sed he, “with wat the speeker is sayin, I beg to ask a question for enlitenment. I am a Kentuckian.”

“Ror for Kentucky !”

Bowin, Bigler perceeded. There wuz a lurkin devil in his eye wich afflicted me.

“Ef I understand the speeker, he holds that the nigger, ef permitted to vote, becomes so much our soshel ekal that we must take him to our buzzums – that we must marry the females, and our gushen daughters forthwith tie themselves to the males uv that accussid race. Is it so?”

“It is!” retorted I.

“My blood biles when I think uv it. Ef I recollect arite, the laws uv Ohio permits all niggers to vote who are only half black. Ez there are a good many mulattos in this region, the produx uv the loose ekality uv the races over the river, there must have bin, ever sence that law passed, much uv that kind uv marryin here. May I be permitted to ask this oppressed people, who hev suffered so from this unnatural state of affairs, how they like it? Is yoor wife a nigger, sir?” sed he, addressin the Sekretary, “and ef so, don’t yoo feel the humiliatin posishen yoor in, compelled, ez you wuz, by the force uv Dimokratic circumstances, to marry her, to take her to yoor buzzum, the minit her father got a vote? It’s enuff to drive a man into Ablishnism to escape it. My brethren,” sed this Bigler, “I’d advise yoo all to abjoor Dimocrisy. Up North, the minit the nigger gits a vote, yoo are forced to legal missegenashun; down South, the affinity Dimocrisy hez for niggers hez bleached out the race to the color uv molasses. There’s no hope for yoo, save in Ablishnism, wich hez the happy fakulty uv doin justis to em without marryin em!” And he stalkt out.

It didn’t make no difference. They didn’t know what he wuz talkin about. The word “missegenashen” struck em with amazement, from wich they didn’t recover till we left. In speakin to such aujenccs, men must be keerful uv the words they yoose.

I finisht my speech. The meetin then resolved they wuz better than niggers; that they never wood consent to be taxed for the benefit uv purse-proud aristocrats; that the bonds shood be taken up with greenbax; that there shood be a return to specie payment to-wunst; and that they were willin to give millions, ef need be, to resist usurpashen, but not one cent in taxes in a unconstitooshnel manner.

This resolooshn wuz passed, when a colleckshn wuz taken up to pay for the candles. But, alas! There wuzn’t nary a cent in the house, and I hed to pay for em myself. Another little insident didn’t please me. The State Central Committee hed furnisht me, ez it does all its speakers, with a twenty dollar gold piece and a fifty dollar bond, wich I wuz to exhibit, to show the difference atween Ablishn and Democratic money. I shoved em at the people, and it excited em to madnis. I laid em on the table afore me. When the meetin wuz ad journed they wuz gone! Who took em? I know not, but this I do know, that the Cheerman uv the meetin hed, next mornin, a new pare of shoes and a hat, and wuz a talkin doubtfully uv the propriety uv taxin bonds. I go from here to Pennsylvania, to fill some appintments in that State.

Petroleum V. Nasby, P.M.

 (Wich is Postmaster).